the days uncoil continuously
the earth proceeds forward
with a zest unheard of
a year since your death
or is it nine months?
five weeks, maybe.
or was it three days?
It was just last Saturday
you ordered the apple cider
for your Keurig.
I swallow a tepid cup of cider
and think
no match am I
for the days and the earth
not a great fit anymore
no choice but to bend
nicely to their will
be docile
enjoy the remaining days
and think
an august service
black lace
brown casket
the air cold and acidic
my ire
does not stop a thing
This is a response to Shawna’s Melting Monday prompt!
Contrast drawn between zestfully uncoiling and nicely tepid highlights the ire–and the placement of acidic, making it apply to both the air and the ire is excellent!
I just discovered the Melting Monday and that makes this even more amazing–the imagery, esp. love the Keurig detail, the confusion; you’ve taken a set of words and given it a history, a painful present, and a difficult future.
I hope you participate, too! It was really fun (from someone who has written 2 poems ever!) Again, thank you so much for reading!
You should definitely join us!
Ginny, thanks for such a careful read, though I do apologize that you & Alexandra read it without the benefit of knowing it was for a prompt!
Such a raw beauty to your words, Anne. Captures so well the feeling that life moves on, regardless of our emotional place, and how this is a blessing and a curse at the same time. Thank you for your amazing words and images.
Well, they weren’t all “my” words:) But thanks for reading. Sorry you read it without knowing… but that should explain why some of the words are there, if they seem kind of forced. Thank you very much for reading!
They did NOT sound forced.
Um, totally awesome! I’m so glad you accepted the challenge. I’m thoroughly impressed with your writing, as always.
These are my favorites:
“a year since your death
or is it nine months?
five weeks, maybe.”
“no match am I
for the days and the earth”
“black lace
brown casket” … the slightest contrast in color, still noticed; on a day like this, all you can process are the most insignificant of details
This is a very strong ending:
“my ire
does not stop a thing”
I am always weakest at the end. It usually ruins my poems.
Thanks for linking! Although, come to think of it, your link didn’t work. Shall I fix it for you?
Please do correct my link…I probably did something wrong.
Thanks so much for reading, Shawna, and for the great words…can’t wait to get over and read yours & the others!
I hope you’ll write another poem next week.
I will be happy to 🙂 It will be a good way to maintain some sorely- needed activity on my blog!
This is a well-expressed poem with a very strident, natural progression. For me, this poem is about the difference hot apple cider and tepid apple cider. One is a shared experience, the other, a singularity. We can subsist on the singularity, but without joy. A great echo in the “the air cold and acidic.” Solid work, Anne Katherine.
Thank you for your analysis. I certainly was going for the singularity felt after someone’s death. I very much appreciate you reading!
It’s that time again:
http://rosemarymint.wordpress.com/2012/01/23/monday-melting-week-3/
HA! You don’t have to remind me! I’ll be there 🙂