Examine my amygdala
I don’t have amnesia, yet
Click-clack, I heard the heelsI know you let your volcano go
Cherry called
And I’m not your rook
Don’t be anxious:
it makes you look so primitive
like an obsolete mastodon,
just as I’m digging–
something a bit more avant-garde.
This was written for Shawna’s Monday Melting Prompt at http://www.rosemarymint.wordpress.org!
Bootless Cries 
Up first! I’m so proud of you. 🙂
So the woolly mammoth is your beau, and Cherry is his other lady. You’ve just been clued in on his side action, and you’re letting him know that you won’t be pushed around. But by your ending, I’m thinking he’s not in as much trouble as he thinks he might be. 🙂 Too funny. Such a creative use of the words.
I do have a couple of suggestions regarding this section, since you say “look so” in both of the first two lines:
“Don’t look so anxious
It makes you look so primitive
like an obsolete mastodon”
You might try something like this:
“Don’t act so anxious;
It makes you look primitive—
an obsolete mastodon”
That ending is just killer. 🙂 And oh my, was this creative: “I know you let your volcano go”
Bravo; you cracked me up with this one.
SO WEIRD that your comments were in spam! As if what you say is in any way, shape or form like those strange-o comments that end up there! Maybe now all LONG comments are being tagged as spam, because some of the spam is rather long lately! Anyway,
thanks so much for your suggestions – I, of course, was not even focused on the repetition of “look so” – but you’re right – I should adjust it!
Thanks for reading and thanks for getting the humor!
I don’t know if my comments will ever make it to you, but I’m going to try anyway. I wanted to say that this poem worked better in couplets to me. It was easier to read and break apart the thoughts. But it’s your call, of course. 🙂
And I don’t think it was tagged before; I liked being unguided in my interpretation. Glad I missed the tags before.
Yes, I meant this to be in couplets, but WP was not cooperating w/ me last night. The thoughts definitely need to be separated a bit in order to draw out what’s going on.
And sometimes I don’t tag because I don’t want to give up immediately what it’s about either (and sometimes I’m not even entirely sure what it’s about yet:) So I’m glad you like it that way – because I was meaning to be vague 🙂
I know just what you mean about tags – they’re like a cheat sheet sometimes!
It’s good to tag so that your poem may show up in the WordPress category for poetry or be web searchable. But other than that, it gives away the meaning when you may want it to be open to interpretation. I just loved this poem, by the way. 🙂
You were in SPAM again! CRAZY! Yes, I know it’s good to tag, but yeah, it does give it away. Maybe I should just make up totally opposite tags from now on 🙂 Thanks, as usual, for reading and for the inspiration! And I can’t wait to take that quiz you were talking about!
Oh yeah? Okay, I’ll post it. 🙂
Sounds good! 🙂
Would you mind letting Randy know to check his spam folder for my comment?
Sure thing. I just grabbed this one out of spam as well – right above “cheap headboards”! 🙂
That is CRAZY! At least I was above cheap headboards and not below.
Love that last line!
Thanks so much for reading, Mama Zen! I’m about to head over and read yours now!
Your brevity with this list was entertaining and refreshing. Always good to know where you stand and not to be someone else’s rook.
I used the list to continue a series of word list inspired story verse. I’m number 3 here in Mr. Linky. This is the second place now I’ve found word lists to ‘feed’ from.
So appreciate your visit, Jules. These were not the easiest words for me but so it goes! It came out rather silly, I think, but that’s okay! Headed over to see what you came up with!
, Brave tell of collaboration of some tough words, even for the imagination, however you that didn’t your creative mind,
Thanks for reading – much appreciated!
that was fun. I really like that last stanza a lot, great write. thanks
Thanks for the visit and for reading! I had fun with it!
Love this! Bravo! So much in so few words, and with such a kicky attitude. Love it! 🙂
Thanks, De, for the visit! Glad you liked it – LOVED yours as well!
ha. i like the cherry called lines they pop out at me in this….and the last stanza….but that not being someone elses rook, i like….
Thanks so much for stopping by, Brian! Much appreciate you reading!
I just posted a new word list; think you’re up to doing some more writing?