Bears and ‘Coons Networking

Recently I’ve become convinced that the wildlife have hacked the dsl lines in my area and are wildly surfing the internet.

And using it to network, trading tips on where the best meals are.  I bet they have their own websites:,,

I believe in our case we made it to the number one spot on the list of All-You-Can-Eat-Buffets.

How else to explain the fact that we have had chickens for three years and no predators at all?

And then in the space of ten days we have 1 bear and at least 2 raccoons, and maybe something else, because, well, they don’t leave a calling card – just dead chickens.

Well, I lie.  We did have a bear two years ago.  But it was killed and the problem ended there.

Until our recent massacre.

And then bear #2 came.  But we promptly got rid of him.  And had one day of peace – before the raccoon(s) started in on us.

And in the end left us with one chicken.  (We started out with seventeen).

But no worries.  We have installed an electric fence now.  Our pen was, we thought, pretty predator-proof.  Even the game warden who came out two years ago for bear #1 said so.  

And how else can you explain it BUT that they have internet access?  I’m positive that the bear’s facebook status was “out at the blue house getting another chicken.”  When the raccoons saw that two days had passed and he hadn’t checked back in….off they went.  And hit the jackpot.

I just hope they update their status (to “electrified”).  And take us off the all-you-can-eat buffet list.